Monday, May 4, 2009

A Compliment I Don’t Like Hearing

"You're the coolest 'Church of Christ' preacher I've ever met."

When a lady said this to me, I had to remind myself that she was trying to express an enthusiastic compliment. But somehow it was hard to feel very grateful. I might have felt differently if she was impressed with my undeniably cool personality or my sharp fashion sense or my familiarity with the latest cultural trends. But that was not what she meant.

The comment was made at the end of a gathering of local church leaders and members to discuss how our churches could cooperate in meeting the needs of the poor in our community. Her point was that she had known other ministers from Churches of Christ who would not have participated in such gatherings and were not open to such fellowship with other Christians.

Several times recently I've received compliments like that. One kind person said, "Some of my relatives are 'Church of Christ'—but you're not anything like them!" Now mind you, I enjoy a compliment as much as anybody. And I certainly appreciate it when people like me. But that kind of compliment causes me as much pain as it does pleasure. Such statements are not merely affirmations of something about me, they are criticisms of my religious heritage. More than criticisms, they are in fact condemnations (though probably not intentionally so) of the sectarian arrogance that has too often characterized the interactions of Church of Christ ministers and members with other followers of Jesus.

The irony, of course, is that the sectarian reputation by which Churches of Christ are too often known is completely contrary to the original vision and attitude of our movement. We began with the call to be "Christians only, but not the only Christians." Somewhere along the way, many of our churches replaced that identity with "Christians only and the only Christians" (though few if any would have openly proclaimed those words). Sadly, a nondenominational movement zealously committed to Christian unity has become widely known as a narrowly sectarian denomination.

A few days ago I sat at a luncheon for our local ministerial association. At one point in the meal, a minister attending the association for the first time looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "Now…I have to ask something…" (I looked over at a colleague from my church and said, "Here it comes." This has happened so many times over the years that I can almost see it coming before any words come out.) Searching for the right words, he continued, "You…uh…you are from the Church of Christ, right?" ("I told you.")

"Not that kind of 'Church of Christ,'" I replied.

Everyone at the table was laughing.

I wanted to cry.


10 comments:

Ted Hughes said...

Rob
You are not the only one that has to defend membership in the Church of Christ by saying "it ain't what it used to be". I've caught myself saying "I'm Church of Christ, but don't hold that against me". What a terrible way to meet a fellow Christian.
This became quite evident on Friday morning's. The people in the room, and especially the teacher, did not quite know what to make of us. We were not living up to our reputation. And then we have had a few folks,from our fellowship, tell us that we shouldn't be in a room with people that are not true Christians. (the source of the reputation is alive and well)

I like what Randy said in his book (page 72) "Why is it that we would believe that Grace extends to behavior but dosen't extend to theology? That's as well as I've ever heard it stated.

So we understand the problem, now what do we do?
I left a book with Danny called "Who Stole My Church?" In it there is a chapter dealing with a proposal to re-name the Church. The sign out front no longer stated what was going on inside, in fact it may have been detrimental to anyone looking for a Church home. That would be a bold step.
Does a Church of Christ have to be conservative? Isn't that what we wanted to be when we left the Disciples of Christ?

I don't know the answer for the whole fellowship. I'm glad I'm not in charge of that. What I am in charge of, is me and my house, and "we will serve the Lord".

I will fellowship with those who proclaim Jesus is Lord, and even those wo do not yet know him. For while we were yet sinners he loved us and died for us. Should we do less?

Lord forgive us if the way we do things grieves YOUR Spirit and divides YOUR Church.
Ted

Rob McRay said...

I agree with Randy (and you), Ted. Good post. Thanks.

Rob

FRANK LEGGETT,JR said...

FRIDAY MORNINGS ARE A PRIME EXAMPLE OF FELLOWSHIP WITH CHRISTIANS OF A DIFFERENT TRADITION. HOLY WEEK SERVICES ARE ANOTHER. PERHAPS THE UNIQUE ONE IS THE COOPERATION WITH ANDREW PRICE ON DONNIE`S HOUSE. I AM THRILLED BY THESE DEVELOPMENTS.

Rob McRay said...

Frank,
I too am glad to see things changing. We are thankfully returning to the original vision of the Restoration Movement. There is a spirit of nondenominational fellowship blowing through the broader Christian community, and it's exciting to see!
Rob

Keith Price said...

Rob,
I'm reminded of the Rochester College Sermon Seminar inwhich believers from different fellowships would gather to hone their sermon preparation. And the surprise to the kindness and acceptance they received from "our" preachers that attended. These types of efforts can change perspectives in the eyes of those outside our fellowship.

Rob McRay said...

Keith,

Good to hear from you. You are right about the Rochester seminar. In fact, Rochester is a great example of one of our institutions bravely returning to the original nondenominational vision of our movement. May their tribe increase.

Rob

Anonymous said...

Rob,

Last week I was at the Peninsula Area Clergy Association Dialogue and was asked to lead the prayer by the Executive Director. I also found myself sitting next to the President of the Association (a UCC minister). After my prayer we were introducing ourselves and I mentioned that our church name was "Redwood Church" rather than "Redwood City Church of Christ" as she had it listed.

Suddenly, her eyes lit-up and a smile ran across her face as she said, "Oh good!"

Jenny Nichols said...

When asked what religion are you, I always answer Christian. I have choosen to attend the Church of Christ and worship with them at this time of my life. But I am Christian only. I have many brothers and sisters who go to other churches. One does not become a chicken by walking in a chicken house. And the same is for Christians.

Rob McRay said...

Sean,

For me, one challenge of being part of such ministerial associations has been finding myself at the table with ministers from groups such as the UCC that are so far removed from me theologically. It truly stretches the concept of fellowship in Christ to almost unmanagable limits. That has led to considerable reflection on my part on the nature of fellowship and unity. No time today to explore that, but perhaps in a future blog. Suffice it say, for now, that words like "dialogue" and "association" are at times more useful than "unity," which may imply more in common than we actually have.
Rob

Rob McRay said...

Thanks for the comment, Jenny. I agree with your point. That use of the word "Christian" is exactly what was intended by the founders of the Restoration Movement, of which Churches of Christ are a part. For years I have answered the question, "What denomination are you?" with the statement, "I am nondenominational, and I currently serve as minister at the ______ Church of Christ."
Rob